Note: Quick shout out to Prof Sheehan for making me lowkey obsessed with the “one-word equity.” You da real MVP.
Thank god midterm-week (really, more like midterm-month) is finally over. As Usher once said, “Thank god the week is done. I feel like a zombie gone back to life. Back, back to life.”
I am currently sitting aboard a plane coming from Chicago O’Hare airport, headed to San Francisco airport. Just typing that out made me giddy. You could say I’m feeling a little inspired right now. Either that or I’m trying to avoid the ten-page project that I have yet to finish – take your pick. Also, before I forget, I would like to add that my iPhone’s current shuffle just chose a song that I was actually going to change it to. It’s funny how things work themselves out.
Ah, right, back to the topic.
Yes, you could say I’m feeling a little whimsical right now – which is why I am drafting a blog post on Microsoft Word. I also realize that I am mildly obsessed with overusing dashes, but I like them – I think they are an accurate depiction of how I would talk in person.
But yes, whimsical. Is that the word I want to use to describe myself right now? Eh, for lack of a better word, I think it will have to do. (As I am rereading this, I have decided that the word I was looking for was “wistful.”) I am currently on a flight home right now *gasp!* My first flight, from Syracuse to Chicago, was actually quite pleasant. It was nice and short, mainly because it was only an hour and a half long. This flight that I’m currently on is supposed to be four hours and seventeen minutes long. I am silently sighing with exasperation. There was also an eye-roll involved. But just think! In two hours I will be landing in my all too familiar land of reusable bags, drought, and tech start-ups.
But as I sit here thinking about how happy I am to be going home this weekend, and how lucky I am to have this opportunity to go home to CALIFORNIA of all places, I am also thinking about how happy and lucky I am at Syracuse. To even think about how I was and who I was this time last year is mind-boggling. I would rather not think about it, to be quite honest. As described to my male neighbors last night, “I was valedictorian and I had to tell my parents that I wanted to drop out of Syracuse and go to community college.” ‘Nuff said.
I really am so happy here though. It really is about the little things though. Yes, I am incredibly stressed out by my course load. That’s one of the reasons I spent $500 to fly cross-country to sleep in my own bed (among other things)! But I realize that “this too shall pass.” Like this ten-page project I should be working on for my advertising class – my professor told our class that if we did not enjoy this project, we should change our majors. Three weeks ago, I wanted to blow my brains out over this project (not quite, but gettin’ there). Today, even though I’m clearly avoiding it, I realize that it actually was an enjoyable experience. I am happy with what I’ve come up with and I think the only really unenjoyable part is typing it all out. I would also like to add that I am particularly proud of myself for being pretty good about not comparing myself to others. So as I cross off my homework assignments, projects, and exams off my planner (read: agenda. My liberal agenda), I am reminding myself that everything that seems so big and scary now will be in the past at some point. What does this mean? I take it to mean I should focus on the good things that are happening right now – enjoy it, savor it, milk the shit out of any good moment because you fucking deserve it.
Good things happen when you least expect them. But that’s what makes them so good. Everything around me right now is so blissfully unexpected. So I guess you could say I’m happy.
If I were to sum up everything I have learned in the past month and a half of sophomore year in one sentence, it would go a little something like this: I am so unbelievably lucky.
Lucky for my friends. Whether they are telling me it’s okay that I’m drinking my third Dunkin’ Donuts iced coffee of the day or encouraging me to impulsively buy that $500 flight home for a weekend in October, I could not be more thankful of the friends I’ve made at college. When I’m ugly-crying in my room about a project due in three weeks, I wouldn’t choose anyone else to encounter on my way to the bathroom for more tissues than my dearest roommate. A college experience would be incomplete without such a strong support system and I’m inexplicably thankful for everyone who is willing to be a part of mine.
Lucky for my family. As much as I bitch and moan about my brothers and their brotherly-motherly ways, I could not imagine my life without them. Again, a strong support system is so important and brothers who have gone through my same struggles are truly an asset. Not only do they help me with my project by finding information that I would otherwise be crying over, they are understanding of my stress and offer as much help as they can. Seriously, I would be entirely lost without my brothers.
Lucky for my flight home in about two weeks. I’m so grateful, and proud of myself, that I haven’t been nearly as homesick as I was this time last year. However, I cannot express how ecstatic I am to return to the comfort and familiarity that is San Jose. Though $500 may be a steep price to pay for a short weekend in the land of drought, I really do think it is worth it. Especially when the only words I can manage to mutter through my ugly-cry is “I wanna go home. I wanna go home.” As the day of my flight approaches, my body swells with happiness and excitement as I think of surprising my parents, my friends, and my coworkers.
So there it is - everything I have learned in the past 6-7 weeks of class. Obviously I’ve learned much more than that but that’s all classroom gibberish. College is about learning about yourself and life, right? So yes, I am lucky. So very lucky for everything in my life.
"Hey Alex! So, what are you doing over there in Kansas City?"
"Oh, nothing. Just running and high jumping for first downs. … And going 2-0, of course."
Video of the play at NFL.com